


Don't Quit Loving Me, Just Start Loving Me.

by robotcaffeine



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: Angst?, F/F, Post S4E8
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-20 01:41:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7385818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robotcaffeine/pseuds/robotcaffeine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I Would Beg If I Thought It Would Make You Stay" - Bea or Allie?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. High By The Beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> allie mad, bea sad.

Allie was fuming, her best friend and saviour had tried to kill Bea. Bea a woman she learned more and more about every day, who is so much more sweet and delicate than people presumed. A woman she was learning to love more and more with each passing day. Not that it was hard for her to love Bea.

Allie couldn't bare standing in her cell, trying to contain her anger any longer. She stormed out of her cell, tears still fresh on her face and eyes bloodshot. Her ocean orbs immediately locked on Kaz, who sat on the couch holding a cup of tea shakily as she stared in front of her at nothing.

The tea cup smashed onto the ground after being smacked out of Kaz's hand by Allie, "you're a fucking witch of a woman," her finger pointed accusingly at Kaz's face, "we're done. I'm not going to do shit for you or the stupid ass red right hand ever again," she screeched, tears spilling from her eyes again.

Kaz stood up slowly from her seat, taking a careful step back from Allie. She spoke with caution, "I understand you're upse-"

Allie punched Kaz square in the jaw, cutting her off from finishing her sentence. 

"This is what you do to someone who hurts a woman,' Allie shouted. "Right? this is what you deserve isn't it?" She continued as her foot slammed into Kaz's ribs.

Suddenly two hands constrained each of her elbows behind her and pulled her back. "Easy now, Novak," Will Jackson's undeniably kiwi accent attempted to calm her.

"Red right hand retribution," Allie spat as she tried to squirm free from Will's grip.

"We're taking her to the slot," Will explained to Allie.

Officer Stewart handcuffed Kaz who immediately protested, "get your hands off me you dirty dog, you can't take me to the slot. I've done nothing wrong."

"Yeah never in your life, that's why you're in here," Jake retorted.

"If you don't calm down Novak, I’m gonna have to slot you too," Will warned a still struggling Allie.

"Fine, I'm calm," Allie responded in an angry tone.

Will hesitated slightly before letting go of his grip on the girl, "Governor wants to speak with you, anyway."

Allie furrowed her brows, "what about?"

"Ah, Bea Smith," Will answered, he shrugged with his hands on hips. "I presume," he added.

“Righto, if it gets me away from her,” Allie sassed, tilting her head in Kaz’s direction. 

As Will escorted Allie down the corridor towards Vera’s office, Kaz shouted, “it wasn’t me, Allie! It was Joan! You’ve gotta believe me!”

Allie lifted her free arm up in the air to flip Kaz the bird, her gaze not leaving the direction in front of her. She wanted nothing to do with Kaz, anymore. 

Will knocked on the office door, a chirpy, “come in!” from Vera inviting them inside. “Do take a seat, Novak,” she ordered, politely. 

Allie looked at her from the space in front of the door, that Will shut on his way out, with her arms crossed. “Is Bea alright?” she demanded.

“Sit down, Novak,” Vera authorised back, mimicking the prisoner’s tough demeanour by folding her arms over her chest.

With a scoff she plonked herself on the office chair in front of the Governor’s desk. It looked and felt no different to being called to the principal’s office, which Allie had much experience with. “Well?” she questioned, impatiently.

“Smith will be transferred from the hospital back to our infirmary, later this afternoon. She will be allowed to have someone stay with her in there tonight, we will ask her who she wants that to be, later,” Governor Bennett explained.

“Can I visit her when she gets here?” Allie asked.

Vera thought for a moment before answering, “ah, no. She is not to have visitors for a few days, a part from the one person she chooses. That’s if she wants someone in there with her at all.” 

Allie swung her head back with something that came out as a mix of a groan and sigh, “that’s bullshit.”

“We don’t want her thoughts to be muddled by different people talking to her, while her memory is still fuzzy. One person she trusts only, sorry,” Vera said in an apologetic tone.

“Okay,” Allie nodded, with a whisper and rubbed her face in frustration.

Vera leaned her arms forward on the desk, “now, what can you tell me about what happened?” her expression stony and serious.

“Joan tried to kill Bea,” Allie shrugged with annoyance. It wasn’t that hard to figure out.

“Yes, I know. But I’m going to need a more descriptive recount of what happened if Joan is to receive proper,” Vera paused to think of an appropriate word to use, “retribution," she leaned back in her seat again, proud of her wording.

Allie then gave Vera a detailed report on how Kaz and Joan had planned the whole thing behind her back, that when Kaz found out that Joan was the reason why she was in prison and not Bea, Kaz attacked Joan and Allie tried to resuscitate Bea. The vision of Bea lying almost lifeless on the ground, her lungs filled with fluid, caused Allie to cry. The image will most certainly haunt her, even after Bea is fully recovered. She continued to say that Will gave her CPR, while officer Stewart separated Joan and Kaz, Vera smiled at the mention of Jake. “And that’s basically it,” she sobbed.

“Thank you, just one more question,” Vera announced.

“Sure,” Allie accepted, even though it wasn’t exactly optional.

“Do you have any idea how Joan knew Bea would be in the kitchen and alone?” Vera asked.

“Uh, yeah. Kaz distracted everyone with that sit in for Maxine thing,” Allie answered.

“Yes, but why was Smith in the kitchen? She works laundry” Vera stated with suspicion.

“Oh, right. She- um. I asked her to meet me there, but then Kaz came and got me,” Allie answered.

Vera smirked, folding her arms again, “And why were you wanting to meet Smith in the Kitchen?”

“To discuss… Hair?” Allie said as if it were a question.

Vera just rose a brow in response. “Will!” she called. 

The door swung open and Bridget walked in. “I just spoke with Bea in the infirmary. She has requested for Liz Birdsworth to come see her.”

Allie couldn’t help but feel disappointed that Bea requested for Liz instead of her. A horrible thought then crossed Allie’s mind, ‘what if she thinks that I set her up, to be killed? That this was my plan from the start.’

“She also begged me to try and convince Allie here, that she go into protection until Bea’s back into gen-pop,” Bridget said to Vera, and turned her head to Allie to give her a sneaky wink.

“It’s up to you, Novak,” Vera said.

“Thanks, but no thanks,” Allie replied.

“Are you sure?” Vera checked, “there’s no one who will be trying to hurt you, that we should know about?” she tried to snake Allie into lagging. ‘Nice try” Allie thought.

“Nope,” She smiled confidently, happy knowing Bea wasn't so faraway anymore. 

//

Bea tried to recall how she ended up in the nurse’s office, laying on the bed with Liz sitting on a stool next to her, but the events were a blur, like her memory of what happened was wet paint that had been smeared with a sponge. She could remember parts of sentences of things that were said to her though, an idea that kept replaying over and over, was something along the lines of how ‘she would watch the ones she loves leave and be nothing but a painful memory for them.’

“Hey, hey Bea,” Liz said softly, “do you want me to read you this article on Kim Kardashian. You know, to take your mind off things for a bit, love?”

Bea fluttered her eyes, as if to say ‘if you wish’, she still felt too dazed to speak coherently.

“Alrighty, how about I just skim read it, and give you the main bullet points, aye?” Liz nodded, agreeing with her own suggestion. “Let’s see, oh, it says here, her and Kanye might be getting a divorce, that’ll be right.” “blah, blah, blah. Something to do with money,” “isn’t it always,” Liz commented with a playful scoff.

It looked like Liz was in a chatty mood, Bea opened her eyes to a squint. “Have you seen Allie?” she croaked.

“The little blonde Polish lass?” Liz asked, “Yeah, she was a right mess. Not in a bad as state as you though,” Liz joked, cackling to herself, “but she definitely seemed well shook by what happened or whatever,” Liz waved her hand dismissively. 

“Can you find out if she’s gone in to protection for me?” Bea pleaded weakly.

“Yeah, sure. I can do that,” Liz shook her head with her brows furrowed, trying to think as to why Bea was requesting this. “Listen, I tell ya what. I’ll go see if I can find out now, while you give yourself a bit of a rest.”

“Thanks,” Bea whispered.

“And I’ll leave the Australian Women’s Weekly on this stool, so if you get bored you can educate yourself on the important issues of the current world,” Liz chuckled to herself.

As Liz started heading for the door, Bea said as loud as she could manage, “No one is to hurt her.”

With a confirming nod, Liz left.


	2. Getcha Head In The Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> opps,, this chapter and the amount of time it took me to update.

Allie peeped around the corner, checking to see if anyone from H-Block was in the living area. When she saw it was all clear, she jogged over to Bea’s cell and closed the door behind her.

She strolled over to the neatly made bed and fell backwards onto it. 

After soaking up some of the essence that was Bea, which filled the cell, she rolled onto her side. A sketch book lay on the small table on the opposite side of the cell, curiously she got up from the bed and opened the pad. 

The first few pages were blank, so she flipped it around to look in the back pages. 

A sketch of a detailed bee, Allie chuckled, not because it was bad, but because it had a crown on its head. Bea might not enjoy being Top Dog, but she obviously didn’t mind the nickname that came with it. 

The next page made a small gasp escape her mouth, the drawing was of her and it was lovely, if she didn’t say so herself. 

Allie welled up with tears that didn’t quite leave her eyes. It shouldn’t be such a surprise to her that Bea drew a picture of her, but something about it made her feel warm and cared for. It was a rather rare feeling in her life, Kaz had previously showed her it at the women’s shelter, but this was a different kind of love and care. 

She turned to the next page, only to find it blank.

The drawing of her must of been recent, she concluded. Although she did notice some ripped bits of paper on the book's spine. 

Sudden inspiration struck Allie. She didn’t have any art supplies yet- being a newbie and all, but she assumed Bea wouldn’t mind if she borrowed a page to sketch a comic, especially since it’s for Bea. She scavenged around Bea’s stuff looking for a pencil, not worried about it being obvious that someone has been in the red haired women’s cell, but carefully avoiding making a mess.

“What do you think you’re doing?” said a voice just as Allie had lifted the mattress to Bea’s bed. Still holding the thin mattress up, she turned with a guilty grin. 

Liz stood with her arms folded, obviously not impressed.

“Hiya, Liz. I was just- “she hesitated before answering, “looking for a pencil.” She held up the pencil as evidence, thankful that it was under the bed.

“Yeah, but you can’t just go snooping through Bea’s cell,” Liz complained. “Especially just for a bloody pencil,” she exclaimed in disbelief.

“I just thought that Bea wouldn’t mind because…” Allie trailed off, not knowing whether the woman knew of her and Bea’s whatever it was between them. “I’m sorry, I’ll leave now.” Allie blurted quickly as she stepped pass the prison’s mother hen.

Remembering Bea’s request to her in medical, Liz followed after Allie to keep their conversation going, ”You’re lucky it was me that found you in there and not Boomer,” Liz forced a short laugh.

They were now just outside H-Block, in the hallway and Allie had slowed her pace down when she realised Liz was there. 

The young blonde responded to what Liz said with raised brows and with an amused smile on her face she nodded.

“Yeah, she would have gone absolutely boonter on ya,” Liz mused.

“Boonter?” Allie queried, knitting her brows in confusion.

“It’s what we call it when Boomer gets violent,” Liz answered.

Allie nodded her head in somewhat understanding, unsure as to why she was being informed on this.

“Speaking of violence, are ya gonna go into protection?” Liz asked.

“No, why would I do that?” Allie scrunched up her face.

“Ah, yunno. With Joan returning from the hospital soon,” Liz said, the rest she thought was self-explanatory.

“And?” Allie was still confused.

“And, if she went after Bea, aren’t you afraid she’ll go after you? Unless- “Liz held her tongue from saying the last bit.

“Unless what?” Allie turned to be face to face with Liz. 

What she thought Liz was going to insinuate made her feel sick to the stomach, if Liz thought it, then what’s to stop Bea thinking the same?

“Nothing love, I’ve forgotten what I was saying already,” Liz lied with a shrug and attempted to continue on with their stroll.

Allie grabbed Liz’s upper arm and stared into her eyes with her own glossy ones, “I had nothing to do with it, she’s gotta know that.”

“Right, right. You can speak to her about it when she gets out, Dear.”

Allie dropped her hand down from Liz’s arm, “Do ya think I could go see her?”

“You’ll have to ask the Governor about that,” Liz answered honestly.

“I already have,” Allie huffed.

“Well then, there’s your answer, isn’t it?” Liz smiled with defeat for the girl and shrugged.

Upon arrival back at H-Block, Liz found Boomer with Joan Ferguson pinned against the wall, her forearm choking the ex-governor. “Hey, hey, hey,” Liz said quickly her voice going up an octave while approaching them, “what’s going on here?” her arms waved about, grabbing Boomer's attention.

Boomer eased her hold on Joan a bit, so that she could at least breathe. “She came waltzing in here like she owned da place, so I was just gonna bash her,” she said with a shrug.

“If you just let me explain,” Joan said breathlessly.

Boomer pressed her arm harder against Joan’s throat and pointed her spare hand's index finger at her, “No! you can choke.”

Liz lent her hand on the top of the plastic dining chair and placed the other on her hip, “hold on Boomer, let’s see what kind of bullshit she wants to try and feed us.”

“Fine,” Boomer huffed taking a step away from Joan.

Joan held her own throat, rubbing where it was sore, “I just wanted to clear some things up.”

“This’ll be good,” Liz commented.

“I wasn’t the one trying to kill Bea, I had nothing to do with, that,” Joan stated.

“Can I bash her now?” Boomer asked taking a threatening step forward.

“Patience Boomer,” Liz said, holding her hand up.

Joan gave Boomer a side eye before continuing, “It was Kaz and Allie. I was on kitchen duty cleaning the floor with the mop, when I heard some pots and pans banging. I entered the room to see that Bea was being drowned by Allie. When I pressed the panic button Kaz attacked me and Allie lifted Bea out of the water,” Joan explained. “It’s sickening how Allie tried to act all innocent, like she saved Bea,” Joan sneered.

“Now?” Boomer asked keenly.

Liz contemplated for a moment, “nah, I think we should leave it for Bea to deal with,” Liz concluded.

Boomer scoffed, “I never get to bash anyone anymore,” she looked up at Joan, “Get the fuck out of here already.”

Liz and Boomer watched as Joan left before Liz said, “I better get back to Bea, no bashing while I’m gone, alright?”

“Yeah, no promises,” Boomer half joked as Liz left.

//

Bea lay atop of the bed sheets on her side with her knees tucked up, her arms cradling them in place. Her mind was reeling, trying desperately to recall what happened. More specifically of what she could remember of Allie. 

So far, all she knew of the girl's involvement was that they planned to meet in the equipment room, then blank, then the blonde screaming as Mr. Jackson performed CPR.

Nurse Radcliffe had came in since Liz left to update her on her condition. With lots of rest and a proper amount of eating and drinking, the nurse reckoned she'd be able to leave the infirmary in a couple of days. Even though it was less time than what the red head should be spending in there, she argued, that she would be fine to be released tomorrow. Radcliffe declined that request, of course. 

The sound of a key card swiping and a door opening drew Bea out of her thoughts. 

Liz stood at the door.

"Hi," Bea croaked, her expression remained miserably emotionless, even with her friends presence. 

Bea couldn't bring herself to feel happiness, her energy for it was at a low.

"Bea, you look miserable," Liz playfully but truthfully stated.

Bea weakly moved her body to sit against the teal wall, with her legs crossed. "Yeah, I feel it."

Liz watched Bea silently with concern, something was definitely off, but she didn't want to push the top dog to talk about her feelings.

Noticing Liz's worried look Bea uncomfortably looked away before bringing her vision back to Liz with a more confident demeanour, "I just can't wait to get back in gen," Bea answered, she purposely left out the reason why. To see Allie.

"I suppose you don't want anyone thinking the position for top dog is available, aye?"

Bea responded with an mmm, "Did you hear anything about Allie?"

"Oh yeah, that's right," Liz scratched the back of her head, "Ah here's the thing, Allie didn't want to go into protection, she didn't seem worried at all about Joan going after her either."

"Well, she bloody should be," Bea commented loudly.

"I not so sure on that, Joan also said some interesting things"

Bea's face dropped, "She's out in gen already? I thought she got a third degree burn on her hand!" she shouted, her panic for Allie's safety increasing.

"The burn doesn't seem to be giving her much discomfort"

"Well, what'd the Freak have to say?"

"She said that Allie was the one who drowned you"

"WHAT!?" Bea hollered in disbelief, a burst of adrenaline bursting into her veins.

"That's what she said, and that Kaz attacked her because she pressed the panic button, and that Allie pretended to be saving you when the officer arrived."

"That's utter bullshit, Liz. Don't listen to her."

Liz shoved her hands in her pockets and shrugged, "And, I caught Allie snooping through your cell. Seemed quite shady to me."

"What was she doing in there?" Bea furrowed her brows.

"Said she was looking for a pencil."

"What for? To draw something?"

Bewilderingly Liz answered, "I, I don't know. Maybe she wanted to use it as a chopstick, or maybe she got it for Joan, you know how she is with pencils." 

Bea contemplated it for a minute, what Liz was saying could make sense. The awful memory of Jodie Spiteri's eye flashed across Bea's mind. Maybe Joan did need a pencil and maybe Allie did get it for her.

"You can go now," Bea sternly said as she laid down on her back, her hands tucked behind her head and her knees bent. A relaxed position, which was the opposite of how she was currently feeling. 

"Don't ya want me to stay and keep ya company," Liz quizzically asked. "I could read some more Kardashian goss."

 "Nup, just go," Bea said with finality. She had too much information she had to analyse over now, compared to the almost nil she had earlier.

Without another word Liz exhausted a loud breath and went to make herself a nice hot cuppa and tried to fish some information out of Sonia.

What felt like hours of sifting through scenarios and explanations for all the information on Allie that Bea had acquired from Liz, she had created a difficult but most likely answer to all of it. It wasn't a pleasant one, but Bea had to be cautious. She'd let her emotions run wild and free with the blonde and she could now see that it had blurred her diligence. The thing that was protecting her from threats on her life in this small concrete world.

Allie is her killer, and Kaz, and Joan. Their whole crew, Allie lured her into a comfort zone. So that they could crush her and take over Wentworth. It was revenge on Bea for 'shopping them to the cops' it wasn't true, but with Kaz's constant whiny preaching they'd probably all believe it. And Joan's manipulation would of undoubtedly triggered the plan in some way.

Having this time to think, Bea was now aware and more prepared to face any one of them. She was sick of doing no harm and still getting hit, she's going to attack on sight now. They had their chance to back down and now she had to start taking care of herself, again.

That didn't stop the heart-breaking pain that was Allie. 

Silent, secret tears escaped the red heads eyes as she held the pillow around her head, hiding her pain from the world.


End file.
